by Julie DeLong, A-1 Freeman Moving Group
Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best
Moving is stressful—no matter the situation, any time you have to pack up all your cherished possessions (read--old magazines, things you have been meaning to repair, kids’ drawings) and move them to a new house is mind-boggling for even the most chipper and positive among us. When you've landed your dream job—three states away--and your spouse has to leave their career, when life has served you a large curveball and you are essentially forced to move, when living alone is no longer possible---you have to manage a lot of emotional ups and downs along with the tension of the physical move to Denver.
One of the biggest stressors in moving is understanding the whims of the real estate business. You're a successful adult, valued in your town, and your life is totally in the balance of some people you've never met--what if your residence does not sell quickly? What if the people buying your house change their minds? What if they ask you to leave the refrigerator and the kids' swingset? Suppose the appraiser notices the crack in the foundation that's sort of unseen behind the hedge? Suppose the inspector finds your new home has a bad roof or there is a new bowling alley and travel plaza slotted for across the road from your new neighborhood? Here is the reality. You have little say over any of these things. The best thing is to make sure that the realtor selling your residence and the realtor helping you with the new residence are capable and do their jobs--and talk with both to have a emergency plan should something get askew.
Consider real estate transactions a huge run of dominoes--closings usually depend on another closing happening on time. One hiccup several steps up the food chain can have an impact on your buyers timeline, and the same thing goes for the residence you are buying—unexpected mishap might mean you cannot close on the day that you had planned, and you're up at night pondering how it's going to feel to be homeless for a a couple days, or if you might be able to move into one of the moving company’s trucks and set up camp.
Relax. One of the perks of the recession is that real estate rules have changed and there aren't quite as many eleventh hour surprises with your closings. You should learn of any possible problems well before your closing date, and in case that something does change, moving companies are super adept at working with changing timetables. If an issue does slow things down, you could have the option of moving in a few days prior to when you actually close--again, a good realtor thinks about contingencies, so you do not have to fret about them.
Communicate with your realtors and lender once a week prior to your scheduled closing to be sure all the inspections and repairs and other details are going as they should; keeping on top of it maintains at least a feeling of control, and if there is a hiccup you are not surprised.
If something unexpected does occur, like if you're building and weather has pushed back inspections and you don't have the occupancy certificate a few days prior to closing because the wiring is not finished, AND you have an immovable closing date on your old house and the movers are slammed, do not panic. Most moving companies offer temporary or long-term storage until you can move into your new home, and your realtor may be able to aid you in finding short-term housing until your residence is ready. Issues like these are unlikely, but when they do crop up your stress levels skyrocket--so count on your team to help you figure it out.
The Emotional Stages of Moving
So, you're moving to Denver--and it could be an exciting time, it might be a challenge. You could be moving four blocks or three hundred miles away. Everyone’s situation is different, but people are very much similar--the emotional rollercoaster just varies from residence to home. Some are kiddie sized, with happy animated cars to ride in, and others resemble a gravity-defying, nausea-producing Loch Ness monster. The feat is to turn that roller coaster into a smooth ride with happy little people humming "It's A Small World" as you pass through your closets.
Some researchers and psychologists have linked moving--in any condition--to the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief model. That is, you experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance.
When you've created a life in one place, it's very natural to have mixed emotions about selling the home where you called home after your honeymoon, where you brought your kids home, where you celebrated all those birthdays and anniversaries. If your move is not an option but an essentiality, it is alright to rage at the state of affairs that have brought you to the location where you are vacating your house because there are no other choices. Get angry, yell and scream at the walls and lean on your family and friends for assistance. Take some time trying to think about how to not have to move—maybe your significant other could commute, or get an apartment in the new city; if you require help keeping up with your house, you might be able to get live in help. Working through your options, as far out as they might be, helps you think through the reality of moving so that it's a tad easier to accept it.
Then, you can spend several days or weeks in denial, of sorts. This is when your relatives ask if they should swing by and help you sift through your things, and you fabricate a bit and say you are almost completed, when in fact you've pitched two matchbooks and a broken spatula and do not own a single box, yet. If you're really wrestling with the details of purging and packing, have your family help you. Or, ask your moving company to box things up for you—most full-service movers have professional packers who can either get you going or do the full job for you.
In the end, you'll accept the transition and change. It might not be the moment the trucks pull up, it might take several months. But the human spirit is an adaptable thing and you will come to accept and embrace your new locale in Denver. That's not to say it will be simple, but being agreeable to create a new life and trying new activities can ease the nostalgia for your old residence and your old life.
Your family members will all experience congruent feelings, although with varying degrees of fervor--teenagers’ reactions will probably be a little more forceful than that of a toddler. If you're leaving your family home for senior living because one spouse is not doing well, then the more active spouse may go through more anger and denial. The important thing is to not forget that the emotional ups and downs are normal and it would be strange if you did not feel sad or angry or a little upset during the process.
Keeping your move in perspective is critical to arriving to the new residence in one piece. Your life is not housed in the rooms of your old home, your life is in the memories you've made there. Keep in mind that you will not lose old friends, and that you will meet new ones. And one day, you will open the front door and think to yourself, "I'm home."
Easing the Transition
People have habitual behavior ingrained in them--even young children select their snuggly stuffed animal and you’ll be in trouble if it's in the wash at nap time. Likewise, when you move, you're lots of times shaking up many of your habits in place and even when you are pleased about the new home, the new life you've got to evolve around it is challenging to even the most adventurous. When you are moving and anxious about establishing a new life for you and your family in Denver, here are some tips to ease the transition.
Get your family excited about the move to Denver. If this means agreeing that your teenage daughter can paint her room black, put a smile on your face and go buy the paint. It could mean you finally have enough yard for a dog—think about what sort of dog you want, and as soon as you are settled into your new home, head to the local shelter and get a new furry family member. While you are at it, adopt two dogs, as everybody needs a pal. Let your boys pitch tents and camp out in that big backyard. Of course, it its bribery of a sort, but it is all for the best and the excitement of new experiences and besides, puppies help everybody buy into the new house and town. And, if you are the one having a difficult time with it, seeing your family doing well goes a long way to helping your mood.
When you are moving, the information superhighway (if you are older that terminology makes sense to you) makes the trip a lot easier. You possibly utilized real estate websites to search for your new house and analyze schools and neighborhoods, so you have a adequate idea already of your new locale. Use social media to connect with people--towns of all sizes have mom groups that suggest all types of things from dermatologist reviews to the best yoga classes--and do not forget that your new neighbors are great resources. Lots of neighborhoods have websites and online listings that tell you whose kids babysit, dog walk and shovel snow.
If you have children, finding new activities is much more vital to them than that orthodontist. Being able to get right back into soccer or swimming lessons or gymnastics keeps them active and helps them feel a part of their new surroundings-the last thing you want is to have moping kiddos around the house grumbling that they hate you and don't have anyone to hang out with. And here's an interesting bit of information—studies show that moving during the school year can be less stressful for new students than moving over during the summer months. If you commence a new school at the start of the year it is more likely to get lost in the craziness of the new year , but when you come in when school's in session, it's more probable your kids will meet friends more quickly and be more involved in school.
The loss of a sense of security can be a difficult part of a relocation for the grown-ups. When you're used to stopping by a neighbor's house just because it’s part of your routine, going to a new place where you don't know a soul is hard. Remember that your new neighbors are most likely interested in meeting you, because they've likely said bye to their drive-by buddies and are wanting to meet the new neighbors (aka – you!). Playing with the dog outside is a sure-fire way to meet the neighbors--their inquisitiveness about you is high, and this provides you an easy way to meet everyone.
The majority of churches and synagogues have newcomers’ gatherings that welcome you and your family, and help you to figure out how you fit within that community. Most schools love volunteers, so ponder getting involved. And, if you're part of a national association such as Rotary or Junior League your membership can be easily transferred.
Life changes are hard, but by allowing yourself and your family the okay to be a bit sad about the past will assist everyone embrace the future.
If you are contemplating a move, contact A-1 Freeman Moving Group to get started on your free in-home estimate. We promise to do our part to make your move to Denver as stress-free as possible.